REENTRY | Expat Eyes

It's been 7 weeks since we returned to Oregon and we have experienced plenty of reverse culture shock moments. "Reverse culture shock" is a term used to describe the shock and confusion one experiences when they return to their home culture after a long absence, and find that things are not as they were. In my opinion, reverse culture shock is more challenging than culture shock. You expect a foreign country to be different, but you expect "home" to stay the same. The truth is everything changes the moment you leave your home culture. Celebration and grief go hand in hand. Life is lived. Joy is shared. Absence is felt.

Re-entry is not for the faint of heart. This is my third time navigating the reentry process and it's felt messier and more overwhelming than ever before. I don't know if it's age or toddlers or what, but it's stretching me in all areas. It's requiring so much grace, forgiveness, battling fears, grappling with tears, and keeping my heart light with laughter. They say it takes about a year to find your footing in a new culture and throughout the process, you can easily find yourself in a state of confusion regarding even the simplest every day tasks. What reverse culture shock moments have we experienced so far?

1. DRIVING

• What side of the road am I supposed to be driving on? I ask myself this question every time I get in a car. We've spent 7 out of the last 8 years driving on the LEFT side of the road in Thailand, so this is probably the first challenge we encounter back Stateside. It's primarily those quiet side streets that confuse me the most, and I constantly remind myself that the driver sits in the center of the road. We also constantly forget which side is the driver's and which is the passenger's, so we are all sorts of turned around when it comes vehicles in general.
  

• The turn signal and windshield wipers are switched. It's so embarrassing to be driving on a sunny day, and you suddenly activate the fastest mode of your windshield wipers because you keep thinking it's your turn signal. Thankfully, we are driving a minivan that consolidates both to the left side this time around. Whenever I go to reach for my right turn signal and it's not there, I sigh with a bit of relief and think: "Thank God I don't look like an idiot right now!"
  

• These roads are GINORMOUS! A 2-lane road in Oregon could be a FOUR-lane road in Thailand. Some days I'm really overwhelmed by the amount of space I have to drive my car, which sounds totally weird. It's good, but also shocking. On a side note, it also makes me feel pretty awesome that I have some extra Thai driving skills when I have to fit the minivan in small spaces.

2. SHOPPING

• I am absolutely delighted by the fact that there is someone designated to bag my groceries at checkout. I didn't even realize how anxious I was at check out until the first time I went to the grocery store in Oregon and someone was designated to bag all my groceries. I just stood there surprised by such a gift. I might have even teared up. It's like I could take a deep breath. Certainly both strange and wonderful.
  

• I'm super overwhelmed by the abundance and variety. The Cheerios section was bigger than our entire cereal section in Hatyai. Shock and awe. Decision fatigue is so real. There have been times that I have to leave a store before completing my list because I get so overwhelmed. Store layouts are all new, so it feels like I take forever to find anything. The seemingly easy task of shopping takes forever right now as I figure out my grocery stores.
  

• Grocery shopping is a real Catch-22 for our family. There are so many things we haven't had for a long time, so when we head to a grocery story, there's always a "we haven't had this forever" moment. In Thailand, when we got foods and special packages from America, there was always an end. When it's gone, it's gone. Who knows the next time you will see it. But now my kids know the Pop-tarts are endless and the Lucky Charms are gluten-free (oh wait, that's my husband!) Navigating this dynamic is challenging and I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to do it.

3. PEOPLE-ING

• People talk loud in America. Thais are so soft-spoken, so we're typically the loud ones. In Thailand, I constantly remind both my girls and husband to lower their voices. But in Oregon, I'm surprised by how easy it is to hear peoples' conversations without even trying. People also indicate when they can't hear what we say and we have to remind ourselves to speak up to be heard.
  

• Thais are not a hugging culture (like ever), so if I seem awkward if you go in for a hug, it's not you, it's me.
  

• I find it hard to have conversations. Sometimes I don't understand current cultural references or perhaps I've never heard of a fad (I had no idea Stanley cups were a thing). It's embarrassing. I'm also afraid to talk too much about my life for fear of boring you with my Thailand stories. Admittedly, I'm waiting to see when a person checks out, so I know when to stop talking. It's a strange dance without an instructor.

On one particularly day, when I felt drained beyond my means, my husband encouragement me take some time for myself. This led me to Barnes & Noble to grab a chai tea latte and browse for fun. To my surprise, I stumbled across the book The Well-Watered Woman: Rooted in Truth, Growing in Grace, Flourishing in Faith by Gretchen Raffles. I've enjoyed all the Bible studies I've worked through from Well-Watered Women, and I was curious about the book, so I decided to sit down and read the first chapter. I don't really have words for how God met me at Barnes & Noble that day. In the middle of this messy reentry process, I found myself in awe. My tears flowed freely. God sees my exhaustion, confusion and uncertainties. He knew exactly what I needed in that moment and lovingly extended His arm toward me, inviting me to rest satisfied in His embrace. Surrender has been my theme of 2023 and Jesus continues to speak through this topic as I sink my roots deeply into His Word.

Lord Jesus, Your joy is my strength and breathes life back into my weakened, frail, human form. Help me to keep my eyes on You and hold firmly to Your promises. Even when I feel alone and out of place, my home remains in You. When I wake up tired and rest my head weary, speak comfort and peace to my heart. You can be trusted with every detail of my life because You lovingly created me with Your good purpose in mind. Help me to trust You when life feels messy. Help me behold the splendor of Your majesty even in the chaos of my days. In Jesus' name, Amen.