Surrender

Niina
Jan 21, 2023
6 min read

Updated: Jan 20, 2024

"[God] is tenderly calling us to stop trying to live this life in our own strength and choose to trust Him. He pleads with us to surrender. So we have a choice. Will we choose our own path and do our own thing, or will we surrender and trust the one who knows the end from the beginning, the One who is working for the good of His people? Will we allow our hearts to return to the God who is ever gracious and merciful and always pursuing our hearts?" - Arise, A Study on Nehemiah (Week 4, Day 3) by The Daily Grace Co.

I stopped coloring my hair in 2019. I've been on a health journey for about 5 years to reverse PCOS symptoms and eliminate hormone inhibitors. I colored my hair for a long while leading up to this decision, but while living in Bangkok, I started noticing damage not only to my hair, but scalp. Long story short, I discovered that the ammonia content in blond dye is much higher in Thailand because of the nature of Asian hair. I never considered this possibility before, but it became pretty clear that my scalp could not handle the dye in Thailand. So I made the decision to stop coloring my hair altogether and let is go natural. As the color grew out, I've been shocked to see how much gray I have. Truthfully, I've had so.many.emotions. about going au natural. It's been a real struggle for me, reminding myself the why behind my decision. It's a strange journey of accepting age, but not being defined by it. Surrendering to the process gracefully, but not falling into negative stereotypes.

This brings me to where I am today. Journeying with Christ is a life of surrender. Some surrenders are big, some are small, but every little step toward Him has me reaching for more. More of His presence, more of His peace. And this year, the Lord extends His hand toward me with eager anticipation. Am I willing to relinquish my remaining ideals, plans, details, and dreams in exchange for His? Will I surrender the good that I see (which holds no guarantees) for His greatness that is unseen (which will only ever be certain and eternal)?

There are two songs I've had on repeat lately. I Surrender All by Judson Van DeVenter (1890) is a hymn that resonated deeply in my soul, that carried me through our challenging Bangkok years ...

I surrender all,

All to thee, my blessed Saviour,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,

All to him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust him,

In his presence daily live.

Since the pandemic hit, I Surrender by Hillsong Worship (2012) has became my prayer as the world fell apart ...

… I surrender I surrender I wanna know You more I wanna know You more

… Like a rushing wind Jesus breathe within Lord have Your way Lord have Your way in me

… Like a mighty storm Stir within my soul Lord have Your way Lord have Your way in me

Typically the word surrender holds a more negative connotation to the world. We think of surrendering to an enemy rather than a loving Father, whose greatest desire is to refine us in righteousness in order to share in His holiness. God continues to bring me back to Psalm 16 for a multitude of reasons. I wrote this prayer of surrender as my anthem for 2023. May it bless and encourage your hearts greatly, drawing you closer to the Father's loving arms. It's a new year and His plans for our lives are good, as long as we're willing to surrender to His will.

"Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge." -Psalm 16:1 I surrender to Your care and protection. Your presence is my shelter and hiding place.

"I say to the LORD, 'You are my Lord, I have no good apart from you.'" -Psalm 16:2 I surrender control of my life to You because You are my God. There is no goodness apart from You.

"As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight." - Psalm 16:3

I surrender to Your will for me to love Your people - Your church, even when there are times I find it challenging to do so.

"The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips." - Psalm 16:4

I surrender to the tough and rugged roads of the path You have called me to travel, because turning aside from it will only lead to death.

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot." - Psalm 16:5

I surrender to Your promises of satisfying rest, Sabbath, and daily bread - I choose to place my contentment in You.

"The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance." - Psalm 16:6

I surrender my earthly wealth and security in exchange for the heavenly and glorious inheritance you have prepared and awaits me.

"I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me." - Psalm 16:7

I surrender to Your wisdom and guidance. Give me ears to hear what You say. Speak to me in dreams, so that my words will be seasoned with Your truth and life.

"I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken." - Psalm 16:8

I surrender my dreams and my decisions to Your sovereign will. I want Your will, not mine. I determine to remain fully focused on You, so that all I attempt will succeed.

"Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure." - Psalm 16:9

I surrender my heart to Your gladness and joy, because You care for the health and condition of my physical body just as much as my spiritual being.

"For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption." - Psalm 16:10

I surrender my life, both earthly and eternal, fully to Your care, because You promise resurrection and eternity in Your presence.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11

I surrender my joys and delights to You, knowing You have a better path for my life than I do. Nothing in this world holds a flame to the fullness of joy that exists in Your presence. You are my security, my wealth, and my portion in this life and the life to come. Amen.

Father, I surrender 2023 to You. Sometimes I'm afraid of the future and uncertainty feels overwhelming. Breathe life into my bones and give me strength to tackle all You have in store for the year ahead. Calm the raging sea of questions and instability. Give me Your joy and confidence for the road ahead. May I surrender everything You ask of me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

2022 Reading Reflections

Last year felt very much like I was drowning with homeschool and two littles, 2 and under. Though I'm constantly fighting to drown out noise from my not-so-quiet time, I felt God draw me closer than ever before. Guided studies through books of the Bible have been so helpful in this season, as well as podcasts & audiobooks. Listening is still learning!

Also, the Revelation study from last year propelled me into the Old Testament books with more intentionality. I've developed a newfound love for the foundations of our faith and God's big picture throughout the ages. Since the dawn of creation, He has sought to dwell with His people. His big picture is weaved into every stitch of Scripture, even the ones we find most obscure. What a joy to draw closer to His Word in a fresh way! Here's my list of life-giving resources from 2022:

BIBLE STUDIES

Genesis Vol. | Foundations of Grace

Gospel of Grace: A Study on the Book of Ruth

Arise | Nehemiah Study

Esther: The Fingerprints of God

Breathe: 40 Days of Prayer through the Psalms

Even If | A Study of Habakkuk

The God That Comes Near: Haggai Study

Romans Vol. 1 | The Gospel of Grace

Romans Vol. 2| The Gospel-Centered Life

Chosen | Ephesians Study

Grace in the Wilderness | 1 Peter Study