Unexpected
- Niina
- Aug 14, 2020
- 7 min read
Updated: Nov 15, 2023
Last summer my OBGYN asked if we were planning to have more children once Ellie was born. To be honest, the question completely surprised us. More children had been a lost dream. Eloise was conceived only by God's miraculous intervention, so we didn't even think to ask the question whether or not we would try to have another baby. We decided to allow God to orchastrate this aspect of our future. All our plans had failed regarding family planning. Now we had two girls and being a family of four was a gift I never imagined possible. So we decided to allow God to orchastrate this aspect of our future. Our only plan was to NOT get pregnant in 2020 in order to give my body a year to heal from the C-section and get any PCOS symptoms I may have in check. But as usual our plans were not God's plans.
To say baby #3 was a surprise is a complete understatement. I never saw this coming, not in a million years. Two weeks prior to our visa renewal (in March), Kiel came downstairs and said we needed to move up our trip to Bangkok immediately to renew our visa. Several Asian countries had already shut their borders. We didn't know what was happening, but we needed to make this visa run sooner than expected. The next day all flights were grounded, so we were forced to drive. I spent that day shopping and stocking our pantry with essentials before we left, just in case we weren't able to get to a store before the lockdown took place. Then we drove. It took 2 days to get to Bangkok. When we arrived at the immigration office early on the third day, the crowd was in a panic. It was like everyone knew the world was on the verge of lockdown and everyone was looking for a guarantee. There was so much confusion and at one point, the crowd was rushing me as I tried to hold the stroller steady with Ellie inside. I got so scared that I bent down and started praying for God to save us. Suddenly there was an opening and an immigration officer opened a way through to our section. Every sense was heightened and when the visa renewals were in hand, we jumped back in the car, checked out of the hotel, and spent 2 more day driving back to Hatyai.
It was surreal watching checkpoints being resurrected in every province as we traveled back home. We just kept praying for safe passage - please Lord, let us make it it back home without any issues. I felt so sick the entire time, but assumed it was circumstancial. By the time we were settled back home, I decided I just needed extra sleep and rest to calm my nerves and settle my soul.
... except, I couldn't curb the nausea. I was struggling, completely exhausted. And there was nothing but time to think, wondering if I might have a case of Covid. Three weeks later nothing had changed. I made my favorite stew, but I couldn't even look at it because the smell and sight of meat made me nauseous. This was Kiel's first clue that I could be pregnant, but I was certain this couldn't be the case. We took every precaution and with such a busy and stressful month leading up to lockdown, I thought it was simply impossible. My body did weird things sometimes because of my PCOS, so pregnancy just could not be the case. So Kiel decided to do what he has dubbed "the egg test" (because I can't eat eggs during my first trimesters). I couldn't gagged those eggs down and that was enough to send my husband off to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test. He bought two, one to take immediately and one to take the next week if the first was negative.
Now I have made it a policy to never take pregnancy tests in the afternoon, but to humor Kiel, I took the test at 4:30 pm. Two lines instantly appeared. I was in complete shock and walked out of the bathroom and held up the positive test.
We are pregnant. Again. For the second year in a row, God created life where we were told life would never exist. No fertility drugs. No prenatal preparations like vitamins to prepare my body. I was simply pregnant and a bit scared. I felt my body was completely unprepared for a back-to-back pregnancy rollercoaster. The very next morning we went to the Bangkok Hospital in Hatyai to confirm the pregnancy. Kiel was not allowed in the hospital because of all the Covid protocols, but that day I saw our baby for the very first time. I was 7 weeks along and the baby is due on Thanksgiving Day, November 26, 2020. This is by no means a coincidence!
It took about a month to be able to wrap my brain around this new reality. We were expecting our third baby in the middle of a global pandemic in a foreign country in an entirely new city where we didn't know anyone. With circumstances less than ideal, this new reality felt completely surreal. Babies 14 months apart?!? This was not at all part of my plan. At the same time, when I look back at 2019 there were three things I can now point to where I felt God preparing my heart for baby #3 in 2020:
On Monday, May 27, 2019 I was sitting by myself having breakfast in Coos Bay, reading my Bible, and pondering about little Eloise. I vividly remember asking God why our girls had a 10 year age gap. Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if they had been closer together?! A very specific thought cut through my own: "...because I don't want Eloise to be an ordinary middle child." It was weird. During our drive home, I told Kiel about it because I had never before considered this a possibility. Then he told me something similar had happened to him just the day before. We both found ourselves wondering what God was preparing for our family as we drove home that day.
The day after Eloise was born, my doctor came to check on me in the hospital. She gave me the normal updates and at the end of her visit, she said she had gotten a good look at my ovaries and they looked healthy. That may be TMI for some, but when you have PCOS, knowing that your reproductive organs are normal is big deal, especially after years of ultrasounds and testing where that wasn't the case.
Two months after Eloise was born, my body started having normal cycles for the first time in my entire life. I have closely monitored this aspect of my health because when you have PCOS, there are blaring risk for uterine cancer. On April 6, 2020 after I got that positive test, I went back to my app tracker and told Kiel that if my body actually aligned with the app, I was 7 weeks along. When my Thai doctor told me I was exactly 7 weeks to the next day, I cried. Not only was I pregnant, but I was pregnant with the proof of normal. God not only did the miraculous by conceiving Eloise, but He healed my body in order to conceive again. I have no words, only gratitude. How fitting that this little one is due on Thanksgiving Day!
Choosing a third girl's name was a beautiful challenge. Throughout the Bible, names carry significance, so for us each of our girls names are more than just names. Their names are more like prayers with divine purpose and signify a particular period of time in our lives where God shaped our faith in a new way. Baby #3 is certainly no different. We included our oldest daughter in the naming process this time, which was such a precious joy. We chose the name Emelyn Mae (Emmie) for several different reason ...
Emelyn means "peaceful home", "whole", and "valley of light". Each one of these holds a very significant promise and hope for our family in the midst of a chaotic 2020. This will be a child of peace, completing our family in a way we never imagined.
Mae means "pearl", "beloved", and "gift from God". This was also my grandmother's middle name, whom I was very close to throughout my life. It's very special to have this little one bear her name and carry on her heritage of faith.
Emmie means "ambitious", "strong", and "hardworking". Excited to see all God has planned for this little one and how she will begin shaping our family upon arrival.
I came across a beautiful passage in Isaiah this year that has held so much promise for our family and for the little life of our Emelyn Mae. Though the world around us seems to be crumbling, we serve a God of justice, righteousness, and peace. He is the source of rest and will establish a peaceful home for those who trust him in the middle of the madness. Whatever you have faced, whatever you are facing today, know that you are not forgotten. We serve a God who loves to surprise the world with His power and miracles. Despite the chaos, He is in control whether or not we recognise Him or His power. Rest in His promises. He won't abandon you.
"Justice will rule in the wilderness and righteousness in the fertile field. And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in safety, quietly at home. They will be at rest. Even if the forest should be destroyed and the city torn down, the Lord will greatly bless his people. Wherever they plant seed, bountiful crops will spring up. Their cattle and donkeys will graze freely." Isaiah 32:16-20
Lord Jesus, You love to surprise us with good gifts. In times of uncertainty, You still have abundance and blessing in store for Your servants. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for hearing my prayers all these years. The days I am living today were planned long ago in Your wisdom and loving kindness. Though I was shocked by this beautiful surprise of a third daughter, Your plans are perfect and You promises are sure. Give me strength and joy in the unknown. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Comments